I’m that mentally problematic girl

Dear Violette,

Me. Problem. No. Separate. Always. Distracted. With. Those. Little. Thing. That. I. Have. Decided. To. Forget. Damn.

If your friend has been called for a counseling  session,what will you feel for her? Thinking that her problem is too big until she has to be called or feel sorry for her or you want to stay away from her because you think she cannot handle her own problem and afraid that you might have to go through her problems too?

What do you feel when somebody that close enough to you arrange for that counseling session because that person may thinks that you cannot solve your own problem?

I feel that if somebody , although close enough to me but had arranged for a counseling session , specially for me, our relationship will getting more far away, no solution and, that means the person doesn’t know me well. Seriously. I feel stupid, because there is other people think I cannot handle myself and just let myself down along the stress. 

If, if I can say these words to that person..,

” For your information, I’m the neutraliser for my own problem, the problems that I create by myself. I think that the problem sort like acidic and I have to be an alkali to neutralise it. If the problem comes as an alkali, I have to be acidic to neutralise it. Sounds like the neutralisation process, right? Forgive me for my science-brain.

If the problem has reach its maximum value and I am not afford to make it to its minimum value like before, then it’s the right time to search for a consult. But, almost all the time, I can handle it because, I have Allah. He helps me. A lot actually. Better than that counselor teacher. 

After this, I hope that our relationship will be normal, just like once. I plead to you, don’t do this to me, again. If you did, than I cannot control myself to hate you soon. “







UP 1 – Day 4 & 5

Dear Violette,


Kimia , 0800 – 0900 hrs

This is the starting for the 2nd of stressful day after yesterday (13/3) .

My comment : I left the diffusion question. Actually, I had thought about it, but my stupidness ‘overcome’ everything. Fine, forget it.

Biologi , 0915 – 1015 hrs

20 objectives, a few structured questions plus 2 essays questions.

My comment : Suck subject, suck paper, like hell. Can I just drop this subject and take LK?

Geografi , 1200 – 1300 hrs

My comment: I hope I can score for this paper.



Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan aka PE , 0845 – 0945 hrs

The final paper on the final day. But, I read it as it is Bio paper ( the concentration when I read ) and I end this stressful week with bliss.

My comment: My favourite teacher made this paper. And I answer it like .. heaven?


Another story to tell you,  I saw him today. He had to take the test ( re- seat ) since he left for that sport competition. This is the fate for athlete. But, I heard that none of our athlete win. I hope the balance 2 days next week will bring medals. Good Luck for them.

#nowplaying Inilah barisan kita, that patriotic song that I love the most. #PrayforLahadDatu


UP 1 – Day 2 & 3

Dear Violette,

Flashback to yesterday’s papers.

Bahasa Inggeris , o8oo – 0900 hrs

I did it for 20 minutes and the rest I slept until the time ended.

My comment: Suspicious! Why it was too easy? What’s the trick?

Sejarah , 0915 – 1015 hrs

30 objectives questions, 5 structured questions.

My comment: ….

Pendidikan Islam , 1100 – 1200 hrs

I don’t know why I feel trouble with this paper. There were people said that the essay part we have to choose only one from two, and I did both.

My comment: What is just wrong with me today?

p.s. for day 2: I saw him from my class, and I saw the way he walked seemed he suffered pain at his leg.

– – – – — – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – —  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Day 3.

Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan , 0800 – 0900 hrs

I just read this subject at this morning.

My comment: Can you see how ignorant am I for this PSK thing? No-civic person. (Plus, I hate it!)

Matematik Tambahan , 0915 – 1015 hrs

There were 11 questions, made by my favourite teacher who is never teach me and I forgot what is range means.

My comment: No cry. Be cool. 

Fizik , 1100 – 1200 hrs

Wow! I just realised that ‘Fizik’ name in Malay is so short. (Physic – English) How I wish I can like and answer this paper since my class is a Physic Lab.


P.s.: In conclusion, today ( 3rd day) is the day for the word ‘Welcome to Form 4’ being played. Today is the starting line for the Form 4 elective subject since those previous 2 days were the subject that I had learned since Form 1. Tomorrow is the Bio, Chem and Geo D-day. I hope I can perform for them well. He went for that sport competition, and that’s make me more suffer today.


UP 1 – Day 1

Dear Violette,

I feel it is nonsense as many students seemed stressed for this test. Frankly speaking, it is just ‘test’ . To test us. Okay, put aside this distress thing, I want to write full report for today.

Bahasa Melayu , 0915 – 1015 hrs

New format, as I told you. Rumusan ( 120 words limit ) , Pemahaman and Tatabahasa.

My comment: ‘Biasa je’.

Matematik Moden , 1200 – 1300 hrs

Maths. Since I sat with 3 Chinese ( I’m the only Malay girl ) in that lab table, I could saw their tension in this paper. Really.. scary.

My comment: I confused with those 2 questions.

Pray for me so that I can answer Bahasa Inggeris, Sejarah and Pendidikan Islam tomorrow.

p.s.: Why I can’t see my crush every time after I decide to like him? So irritating.

UP 1, here i am coming!

Dear Violette,

I cannot believe that 2013 UP 1 will be started tomorrow, as I always feel that I just finished my 2012 UP 1. For those who do not know what the heck is this UP 1, it is Ujian Penilaian 1 ( sort of monthly test..) This year, it will be totally different for me. More subjects to be revised, the days for the exams will be increase and the format, of course.. FYI, I’m kinda stress with this ‘progress’. Furthermore, now I am in the group of ‘ study at the eleventh hour’. Tomorrow will be Bahasa Melayu and Modern Maths ( see? even Maths have divided into two subjects ) and I just did the exercise for Mod Math just now. So, at the eleventh hour. I hope I can do well for this UP 1 since my mom seems hoping that I will get all A+ for all those 12 subjects (including Civics and PE ) . Maybe, I should remind her again that SPM format will be different, much different , seriously.

Haish, just relax,okay?

( p.s.: psss! I have new crush! hehe~ )

New Year, New Story, New Atmosphere

Wow! Violette! (Luckily I still remember your name,hehehe~) 

When I choose to open this tab of WordPress, I know that I will sacrifice about half an hour of my ‘online-time’ just to post this entry. Well, quite a long story to be told. Wait, I didn’t post for the new year,right? So, this will be the first entry for this year.

So, how am I do? First, new year means everything (almost) will be new to me. But, there will be some thing that remain the same. This year, I am a high-school student. 2 years before i will see that whole wide world outside there,you know?

#FYI , I take pure science stream for this high-school years. But, wait.. maybe this is just for temporary. If I feel that I cannot ‘accept’ that Bio-thing, i will quit. For example, this upcoming  monthly test. If I fail to get at least A, I’ll go to the class with the account subject plus semi-science ( Chemistry, Physics ) after the ‘spring-break’.

Besides that, I have new enthusiasm (is the spelling is correct?) or in other words, a new thing that I like to do. I am the member of Fencing club and I really hope that I can really in to it. (eh?)

What are the things that remain the same? Hobby~ I still listening to the music ( #np Iklim – Bukan Ku Tak Sudi ) , watching television [ new programme in 8TV Malaysia channel – Protect The Boss ( Ji Sung ❤ ) and J-Dorama ( Hungry – Mukai Osamu ❤ ) ], eating  and sleeping. He He He….

One more thing, I don’t know why this year, my craze to K-pop decreasing. J-pop, still okay. Same goes to their dramas. But, I still watch their films ( luckily, TV9 Malaysia has a special tv programme entitled ‘Saranghae’ which shows all movies from Korea ). However, thing goes vice-versa for Malay song , especially the evergreen and ‘rock kapak’ songs. Love it!

I think this is enough (is it) for today. Maybe, my next entry will be about the monthly test. Keep waiting and hwaiting!