That feeling…

Dear Violette,

for these  about one month i have to struggle sitting and hoping so that the MYE (mid-year exam) will finish as soon as possible. that feeling of being an Upper Secondary student is I have to sit the exam for one month long!!!! Nonsense,isn’t it? During this exam ‘season’, i always feel that ‘I’m busy, sorry. I have to study for the next paper. I can’t hang out with my friends’ bla bla bla~ I feel as I have to focus on the exam ONLY and I feel that I don’t have enough time for other activities. But, what can I do? Total of subjects increasing and that’s why it takes one month to finish.

Besides that, I have found my new favourite things ( or K-poppers called BIAS ) and it is a Korean drama. Finally, after a long duration of time I lost my ineterest to most of the thing involving Korea, FINALLY!! the title of the drama is…..


To those who have watched the drama, i know that you already know (WTH?) . Joo Won and UEE. I am watching UEE’s dramas currently that aired on TV ( i’m give on watching dramas online) which are Ojakgyo Brothers and Birdie Buddy. I hope that I can stand to watch it until the final because Ojakgyo Brothers have 58 episodes, dear! Hope it can make me enjoy a litte bit right now.

That’s it.


Oh No! Am I a Nerd??

Dear Violette,

Nerd… Me, just like anybody else will feel insulted if somebody ever dare to describe me with that word. So, is it reasonable for us to think that the word is an insult or take it as a compliment?

Nerd defined as:



  1. A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious: “one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance”.
  2. An intelligent, single-minded expert in a particular technical discipline or profession.
fool – booby – goof

So, this is the opening of my story. You may thought that I’m kinda a sociable student but the true fact I’m not really. So, I’m afraid that people will recognise me as a nerd, supported with the fact I’m a student of kinda a good class. I just want to ask for your opinion, do i have to just be whoever I am now or change my identity? Is it a good idea to accept the ‘nerd’ calling as a compliment or just burst my anger to those who call me ‘nerd’?

Help me, please. And also, if I want to get rid from the nerd calling, do I have to stop revise or rarely complete the homeworks?

I’m that mentally problematic girl

Dear Violette,

Me. Problem. No. Separate. Always. Distracted. With. Those. Little. Thing. That. I. Have. Decided. To. Forget. Damn.

If your friend has been called for a counseling  session,what will you feel for her? Thinking that her problem is too big until she has to be called or feel sorry for her or you want to stay away from her because you think she cannot handle her own problem and afraid that you might have to go through her problems too?

What do you feel when somebody that close enough to you arrange for that counseling session because that person may thinks that you cannot solve your own problem?

I feel that if somebody , although close enough to me but had arranged for a counseling session , specially for me, our relationship will getting more far away, no solution and, that means the person doesn’t know me well. Seriously. I feel stupid, because there is other people think I cannot handle myself and just let myself down along the stress. 

If, if I can say these words to that person..,

” For your information, I’m the neutraliser for my own problem, the problems that I create by myself. I think that the problem sort like acidic and I have to be an alkali to neutralise it. If the problem comes as an alkali, I have to be acidic to neutralise it. Sounds like the neutralisation process, right? Forgive me for my science-brain.

If the problem has reach its maximum value and I am not afford to make it to its minimum value like before, then it’s the right time to search for a consult. But, almost all the time, I can handle it because, I have Allah. He helps me. A lot actually. Better than that counselor teacher. 

After this, I hope that our relationship will be normal, just like once. I plead to you, don’t do this to me, again. If you did, than I cannot control myself to hate you soon. “






UP 1 – Day 4 & 5

Dear Violette,


Kimia , 0800 – 0900 hrs

This is the starting for the 2nd of stressful day after yesterday (13/3) .

My comment : I left the diffusion question. Actually, I had thought about it, but my stupidness ‘overcome’ everything. Fine, forget it.

Biologi , 0915 – 1015 hrs

20 objectives, a few structured questions plus 2 essays questions.

My comment : Suck subject, suck paper, like hell. Can I just drop this subject and take LK?

Geografi , 1200 – 1300 hrs

My comment: I hope I can score for this paper.



Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan aka PE , 0845 – 0945 hrs

The final paper on the final day. But, I read it as it is Bio paper ( the concentration when I read ) and I end this stressful week with bliss.

My comment: My favourite teacher made this paper. And I answer it like .. heaven?


Another story to tell you,  I saw him today. He had to take the test ( re- seat ) since he left for that sport competition. This is the fate for athlete. But, I heard that none of our athlete win. I hope the balance 2 days next week will bring medals. Good Luck for them.

#nowplaying Inilah barisan kita, that patriotic song that I love the most. #PrayforLahadDatu


UP 1 – Day 2 & 3

Dear Violette,

Flashback to yesterday’s papers.

Bahasa Inggeris , o8oo – 0900 hrs

I did it for 20 minutes and the rest I slept until the time ended.

My comment: Suspicious! Why it was too easy? What’s the trick?

Sejarah , 0915 – 1015 hrs

30 objectives questions, 5 structured questions.

My comment: ….

Pendidikan Islam , 1100 – 1200 hrs

I don’t know why I feel trouble with this paper. There were people said that the essay part we have to choose only one from two, and I did both.

My comment: What is just wrong with me today?

p.s. for day 2: I saw him from my class, and I saw the way he walked seemed he suffered pain at his leg.

– – – – — – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – —  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Day 3.

Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan , 0800 – 0900 hrs

I just read this subject at this morning.

My comment: Can you see how ignorant am I for this PSK thing? No-civic person. (Plus, I hate it!)

Matematik Tambahan , 0915 – 1015 hrs

There were 11 questions, made by my favourite teacher who is never teach me and I forgot what is range means.

My comment: No cry. Be cool. 

Fizik , 1100 – 1200 hrs

Wow! I just realised that ‘Fizik’ name in Malay is so short. (Physic – English) How I wish I can like and answer this paper since my class is a Physic Lab.


P.s.: In conclusion, today ( 3rd day) is the day for the word ‘Welcome to Form 4’ being played. Today is the starting line for the Form 4 elective subject since those previous 2 days were the subject that I had learned since Form 1. Tomorrow is the Bio, Chem and Geo D-day. I hope I can perform for them well. He went for that sport competition, and that’s make me more suffer today.