this is what we call distress

Dear Violette,

i think i have told you that the E.O.Y is just around the corner. i have to strive harder than before because this exam will decide whether i will seat in the KRK class for next year,or not.

Sometimes,i think that maybe i’m too stress. yeah,you know me. i said that i don’t want to be in the class any longer but the fact, i don’t want to be kicked out. reason? maybe it’ll embrass me,or maybe i don’t have any friends from other class,or maybe i don’t want to be separated from my classmates or i want to care for my reputation. that’s what we called, EGO.

I really stress when i think about it, every times. that’s what i’m afraid of. I’m really afraid that it will affect my study and i can’t focus to the exam and i’ll nervous and my brain will turn into blank and blur when i want to answer the questions of the exam and i’ll feel a great regret after i have answer the answer and i cannot take and accept the result and my parents will scold me if i doesn’t got A and i’ll stress again and the end!!

To those who feel become a brilliant person is lucky,you are wrong. we got a lot of stress than will become worst if there are many people that count on you to get the ‘excellent’ result not the ‘bolehlah’ result. i ever think that if i pretend to be a stupid person by answer the wrong answer in the exam and get the bad result and people will call me ‘stupid’. yes. i ever think about it. i ever think of try to answer the question that of course i know the answer by the wrong one. what will happen? i’ll feel like i want to commit suicide or maybe plead to teachers that i want to re-seat the exam. i cannot do that. even if i want to just ‘hentam kromo’ to the question that i don’t know or forgot the correct answer i’ll think ‘semasak-masaknya’.

and , THIS IS WHAT WE CALLED DISTRESS. i don’t read books all the time because afraid i’ll distress but at the same time i thought i’m not study and prepare enough for the exam.



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